Kid Rock: HHS Mascot and America's Newest Fitness Influencer?

A few takeaways from that unhinged video

Ugh…I did not want to write about this, but it turned out to be cathartic.

I am a movement professional and have worked in the fitness/movement space for 20 years. I also write about perimenopause and aging, which requires me to do an enormous amount of research on the current data and science around fitness and aging, particularly as it intersects with gender. So this topic is solidly in my wheelhouse.

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be real: would you take health and fitness advice from these guys?

Fresh off of his embarrassing return to the spotlight as Turning Point USA’s representative for family values, Kid Rock is now the newest ambassador for making America healthy again.

The dude looks like he could be knocked over by a strong gust of wind and has never met a vegetable he actually liked, but sure, let’s take health and fitness advice from him.

In case you’re not sure what I’m talking about, Kid Rock just made a buddy comedy promotional video with his new workout bro and pickleball partner, RFK Jr.

In this video, which looks like it was made by high school boys for a A/V class project, Kid and Junior visually dispense health and fitness advice to the dulcet tunes of Bawitdaba.

The video opens with a great white shark against the backdrop of the American flag. And then a fighter jet, I think.

The men walk in slow motion through a log cabin, while Kid strips his shirt off (an image, I can never unsee), and uses it to slap RFK Jr’s jean-clad ass.

The cabin is everything you’d expect a testosterone-fueled fitness hideout to be, outfitted with a gym, pickleball court, sauna, icebath, and a hot tub with a diving “rock” in what looks like a disco cave.

There’s also a human-sized statue of liberty.

We see brief clips of each man eating food while the other stands over his shoulder presumably chanting “chew, chew, chew” and pumping one another up for the masculine act of digestion.

Then we see clips of their workout. Biceps curls, hamstrings curls, cable pulls, and sit-ups. No deadlifts or squats or bench presses. All hypertrophy (aiming for visible muscle growth) and no real strength-building, but you wouldn’t know that if you’re not an expert.

Next they hit the sauna for some push-ups and cycling on one of those bikes with moving “arms” which makes you look like you’re awkwardly fighting an invisible enemy.

I repeat, they do this in the sauna.

I have to pause for a moment and say, “friends don’t let friends workout in a sauna.” It doesn’t give you super badass exercise powers any more than hot yoga makes you better at yoga. You just sweat more.

I guess Kid agrees with this because at one point on the bike, in the sauna, he flips off the cameraperson.

I feel you, Kid. I wouldn’t choose to do cardio in a sauna, either.

After this sweatfest, Junior heads to the icebath and gets in, jeans and all. I’m not sure if he’s trying to initiate a heart attack by shocking his system, but he’s definitely making his heart work harder by going from extreme heat to extreme cold.

Please don’t do this at home, friends.

Junior follows up his ice bath with a little pickleball. He and Kid go head to head. They actually stand nose to nose at the net. It looks like they’re about to go all Heated Rivalry but then the video cuts to them slapping the ball back and forth between them. No, that’s not a metaphor.

Inexplicably, there’s a moose in the background and also possibly a motorcycle.

Post-pickleball, they head to the disco hot tub cave for some soaking and an after-workout snack of whole milk. We know it’s whole milk because a graphic pops up on screen reading “whole milk” in all caps and with a font that is literally dripping white liquid. So about the Heated Rivalry parallels….

Anyway, Kid looks visibly shocked that he’s drinking whole milk and would like to spit it out into the tub, but can’t.

So he grins like an idiot while the video fades to black.

I cannot emphasize enough that these are not serious people but they want you to take them very seriously.

Also, in case it’s not abundantly clear, this video is geared toward making American men healthy, not American women. Not because the images of eagles swooping and bears fighting and aging half naked men can’t be appealing to women. But because the expectation is that men will be drawn to this sort of posturing around fitness.

The spectacle of it and the bravado.

The aggressive music and aggressive behavior of the 2 men.

This is health and fitness according to 2 white men who have a history of substance abuse and reckless behavior, as well as attraction to younger women or children, in the case of KID.

It’s not functional fitness, which is in of itself a marketing term, but if we take that term at its intent it simply means fitness (and health) that is sustainable and makes life, as well as aging, more supported.

You would think this would be the goal of making Americans healthier – lifelong, sustainable health and fitness that is accessible to all.

You would be wrong.

As my husband so astutely pointed out, this is the kind of masculine approach to fitness that we might have once seen from Charlton Heston or Clint Eastwood. It’s definitely the kind of masculine energy they portrayed in film and in life – the real, raw American man who can make you shake in your boots with one intense look and will ride you out of town on his chariot/horse. He’s a good guy at heart but a bad guy when he has to be. He doesn’t have to abide by the law; he is the law.

Writing that paragraph made me want to hurl but it’s the kind of stuff that MAGA men eat up with a steak knife.

It also speaks to the kind of man MAHA is appealing to.

White men, mostly.

Specifically, white men who make their own rules and believe that health is a personal choice.

White men who think that health care is something that sick people need and they don’t plan on being sick.

White men who think their most important feature is how impressive they look, not how respectably they behave.

This is health and fitness fueled by macho energy, not actual skill or knowledge of health or fitness. When RFK Jr posted this video on his twitter account, he wrote, “I’ve teamed up with Kid Rock to deliver simple messages to the American people: GET ACTIVE + EAT REAL FOOD.”

But that’s not what this video actually promotes.

We see 2 man babies trying to show off how fit and healthy they are through a series of ridiculous acts of fitness that most people can’t easily replicate.

They’re in Kid Rock’s private home gym. They’re using machines that your average person would not have the space for in their actual home. They’re demonstrating exercises that are good for building muscle mass but not ideal for building strength (it’s good to do both, FYI). They’re doing cardio in a sauna, which is not necessary or particularly healthy. They’re eating chef-prepared meals. They’re drinking whole milk in a hot tub, which cannot possibly taste good.

None of this is simple.

None of this is truly accessible.

All this video demonstrates is the idea that if you’re wealthy, you can make yourself look healthy and impressive. But that doesn’t make it true.

*****

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