This piece moved me tremendously, Naomi. Thank you for sharing it! I have a similarly pushing-pulling, fighting relationship with my 11-year-old son and these words felt like a balm to my sometimes anxious soul. While I don’t follow moms on social media at all, only a handful on Substack who I consider to present nuanced views (Kerala Taylor, Melinda Wenner Moyer and our teacher-in-common, Molly Caro May, spring to mind), I have felt that external pressure to either be “perfect” or “embracing the mess” since before he was even born, and I also reject it. Life just isn’t like that.
Anyway, I really appreciate you putting this story out there and have so enjoyed following you on Substack. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for reading and for including me among writers I appreciate, as well as admire. I'm so glad this piece landed you in a way that felt soothing and supportive. Motherhood can be so incredibly isolating. One of my biggest motivators for writing about my experience is to make it feel less so. Your response means so much to me because it reminds me that I'm not alone in this, too. 💚
I just discovers your Substack and this piece is phenomenal and beautiful and raw and all the things that I hope to be as a mother - most of all so real. Thank you for you.
Thank you so much for this! I am so glad this piece landed for you.
I wish someone had written this back when I was a newer mom. I just recently told a friend that part of me writes all of what I write as love notes to new mama me, way back when I thought I knew stuff but I actually knew nothing and felt so alone and so scared.
somehow I missed this 2+ weeks ago when you commented. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. And having read so much of what you write, I can feel that tension in your essays, too. The in between where so much of motherhood actually exists.
I read this piece while sitting in a doctor's waiting room and had to slip into the bathroom to collect myself. I feel this pull and complexity so much with my 11 yr old, and your article gave me a glimmer of accepting the push-pull for what it is instead of being filled with termoil as I unsuccessfully attempt to "fix" this very human condition of motherhood. I loved this window into the gorgeous and brutal (a.k.a. REAL! RELATABLE!) relationship with your daughter. I feel seen and understood as a mom in a way I haven't felt in a long while.
Thank you so much, Christina. For reading this but also for echoing what I felt and what inspired me to write this. I think I still so badly want to "fix" the push-pull, too. I hadn't thought about it that way until you wrote it. And maybe it doesn't need to be fixed. Maybe I just need to flow with it instead of fighting it. That insight is such a powerful reframe and I need to sit with that for a bit.
This piece moved me tremendously, Naomi. Thank you for sharing it! I have a similarly pushing-pulling, fighting relationship with my 11-year-old son and these words felt like a balm to my sometimes anxious soul. While I don’t follow moms on social media at all, only a handful on Substack who I consider to present nuanced views (Kerala Taylor, Melinda Wenner Moyer and our teacher-in-common, Molly Caro May, spring to mind), I have felt that external pressure to either be “perfect” or “embracing the mess” since before he was even born, and I also reject it. Life just isn’t like that.
Anyway, I really appreciate you putting this story out there and have so enjoyed following you on Substack. Keep up the good work!
Thank you so much for reading and for including me among writers I appreciate, as well as admire. I'm so glad this piece landed you in a way that felt soothing and supportive. Motherhood can be so incredibly isolating. One of my biggest motivators for writing about my experience is to make it feel less so. Your response means so much to me because it reminds me that I'm not alone in this, too. 💚
I just discovers your Substack and this piece is phenomenal and beautiful and raw and all the things that I hope to be as a mother - most of all so real. Thank you for you.
Thank you so much for this! I am so glad this piece landed for you.
I wish someone had written this back when I was a newer mom. I just recently told a friend that part of me writes all of what I write as love notes to new mama me, way back when I thought I knew stuff but I actually knew nothing and felt so alone and so scared.
Thank you so much for reading.
Naomi, I know this so well. I really enjoyed reading. I feel the same weight of writing about motherhood trying to capture that in between.
somehow I missed this 2+ weeks ago when you commented. I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. And having read so much of what you write, I can feel that tension in your essays, too. The in between where so much of motherhood actually exists.
I read this piece while sitting in a doctor's waiting room and had to slip into the bathroom to collect myself. I feel this pull and complexity so much with my 11 yr old, and your article gave me a glimmer of accepting the push-pull for what it is instead of being filled with termoil as I unsuccessfully attempt to "fix" this very human condition of motherhood. I loved this window into the gorgeous and brutal (a.k.a. REAL! RELATABLE!) relationship with your daughter. I feel seen and understood as a mom in a way I haven't felt in a long while.
Thank you so much, Christina. For reading this but also for echoing what I felt and what inspired me to write this. I think I still so badly want to "fix" the push-pull, too. I hadn't thought about it that way until you wrote it. And maybe it doesn't need to be fixed. Maybe I just need to flow with it instead of fighting it. That insight is such a powerful reframe and I need to sit with that for a bit.
Great photo!!
Yes. And I love that photo!